Inappropriate Questions

When are you and the boyfriend getting married? Love this question. People started in on this one after we had only been dating two months. Two months. Seriously? Seriously, how well can you truly know someone after two months? Do the people who ask these questions actually think it would be a good idea for us to commit to marriage after dating two months? Did I miss something and all of a sudden I'm in a world where a single 28 year old female is an old maid? What is the hurry here? Take the remote possibility that the thought of marriage had even crossed my mind - would I ever admit that to anyone? No. No, I wouldn't. None of your business questions reside towards the top of the long, long list of my pet peeves. They just push my buttons. Okay, it is true my buttons are pretty darn easy to push. I like to just put them out there for anyone and everyone to see and have fun with. Poke, poke, pokey, poke.

I managed to find two very satisfying solutions that both work stupendously. When I know the person asking the inappropriate question decently well, I won't even entertain the thought of answering the question. Instead, I settle on an equally inappropriate question of my own.
Question: "So, when are you and the boyfriend getting married?"
Response: "Hmmm...is this your fourth or fifth marriage now?"

When asked these questions by people I don't know well enough to come up with a retort question there is a perfectly easy solution as well.
Question: "Are you adopted?"
Response: "Oh, aren't you just cute..." Smile. Walk away.